Are you watching the new Loki show?
In the last episode (no major spoilers here), there's a quiet moment when another character reminds Loki of his ambitions to rule as king of Asgard. He replies with wry smile: "and then I'll be happy." He recognizes, after chasing a hedonistic dream his whole life, that he'll never be truly happy unless he looks inward for change. I think this
is a brilliant mindset exercise to try, and I invite you to do it with me (hint: this is the kind of thing I might do with you in a coaching session)... Think of a big vague idea of a goal that you've been chasing– maybe it's a ton of money, an award, a fancy job title– and then say, "When I get (insert vague goal), then I'll be happy." How does it
feel? Do you believe it? ------------------------- If those glorious moments we chase really made us happy then wouldn't the cumulative experience leave us feeling extremely happy with our lives? Obviously not. The chase after egoistic and vague goals (sometimes referred to as The Hustle) doesn't leave a lasting impact. It doesn't improve your sense of wellbeing or sustained life satisfaction. In research it's been called the hedonic treadmill. The goals that do create a solid foundation and a long term sense of "the good life" are the ones that align with your values. And those are notoriously hard to design and execute. A shift in happiness–let's call it life satisfaction– comes from challenging the stories you hold that influence how you behave. It's not about making
a never ending To-Do list that leads to another To-Do list, it's about creating a To-Be list and then actually becoming that person as a habit. The coaching process exists to help you with that. Cuz that sh*t is hard to do alone.
I can answer questions if you want to chat, but the basic idea is, 1) Figure out what you really want, 2) Improve your relationship with yourself, and 3) Design actions to support 1 & 2. After three months of working together I won't promise you a gilded throne, but I can guarantee you'll prioritize how you live instead of what you chase.
For Asgard! Danny